CHOICE - DECISION - CONSEQUENCE

In a previous blog, I wrote about the STEP program and my favorite chapter Natural and Logical Consequences. I would like to expand on this technique a bit more.

In the manual, they explain the difference between this approach and the reward-and-punishment approach. The R-and-P approach makes parents/teachers responsible for their child's behavior. Children don't learn how to make their own decisions. They may only show acceptable behavior when there is an authority figure present.

With the Natural and Logical Consequence technique, a child is offered a choice about something. (See PRESETS AND CHOICES) He is allowed to make his own decision, but must deal with the consequence of his decision. The consequence may be natural or logical.

With a Natural consequence, the child learns through the natural or social order of events. (If they refuse to eat, they go hungry. If they refuse to wear socks, their feet get cold, etc.) The child now becomes responsible for his own actions. He/she learns the natural order of things rather than being forced to adhere to the wishes of an authority figure.

With a Logical Consequence, the parent or teacher “imposes” the consequence, but it must be based on logic. It must “fit the crime”. (If a child refuses to help clean up the blocks, they may not use the blocks the next time they want them. If they decide to skip snack or lunch when it is served, they will have to wait until dinner to eat again.)

I use choice-decision-consequence many times each day. It has become an effective tool in teaching my children responsibility in the classroom. They help with clean-up with far less resistance. They ask me "what can I do?" They have fewer "melt-downs" when, after realizing the consequence, they don't like a decision they have made. Classroom safety rules and boundaries are not tested as often. It leaves my day feeling more relaxed and free to enjoy the children.

And I DO enjoy my kids!