A CALMING EFFECT

Happy, Joyful, Silly. Sad, Angry, Frustrated. Lots of emotions fill a classroom. The first three are pretty easy to deal with. Sometimes all they require is a smile or a hug. It's the second trio that challenges the best of us. Especially anger. It's out of control. It's unpredictable. It's full of anxiety, never knowing how it will end. How do we get a handle on this? How can we calm this child down? He is screaming very loudly with flailing arms and legs.

The first thing you do is.....repeat what they are saying. Help them KNOW that you hear them and understand what they want. This doesn't mean you necessarily give in to the demand. Just get them to hear you SAY what they are saying. Say it as many times as it takes to get the desired effect. If they are not saying specific words that you can repeat, try saying what you THINK they want. Keep guessing until you find the right words.

Once they have settled down, you can now reason and work out the problem. If it escalates again, do the same thing again. Repeat what they are saying, always using a calm voice. Don't try to out-shout them. Hugging and gently holding them to be sure they don't hurt themselves or others while calmly talking through the situation works best. If possible, try moving to a space away from everyone else. Children feel very scared when they are out of control. Think of how YOU feel when you're out of control. It's not very comfortable. And you're an adult. You can think and react on a much higher cognitive level. A child needs to rely on an adult to remain calm and help them through this tough time. They will follow your lead as they transition to a more peaceful resolution, but only if they KNOW you understand.