School has begun for another year. Children are arriving with Mom or Dad in their new classroom. No one is quite sure how this will work. The children are nervous about the new space and the new teacher and all those new children. Mom and Dad are not quite sure of how their child will react, or how much this new experience will affect everyone....including them.
Here is an idea to make the transition a bit smoother:
BEFORE arriving at school, discuss with your child what will happen. Talk about what they will see and do when they first arrive. Discuss which activity(ies) you will do with your child. Tell them that you will leave after that activity is done. You can be as detailed as your child is able to handle, with the routine you want to set.
For instance, "First we will put your coat in the cubbie. Then let's go see what projects are open today. Then we can choose one thing to do together. And then I have to go to work. I will be back at the end of your day."
When you arrive at the school, do exactly what you said you would do.
And then go!
You may need to ask the teacher to take the child while you go out the door. If so, hand the child over to the teacher and say goodbye. Never try to sneak out when they aren't looking. This frightens them and sets up trust issues between you and your child.
Set this routine every day. It doesn't have to be the exact same activity, but it should be the same routine. Once the situation becomes predictable, the child begins to feel more secure and comfortable. Transitions and adjustments are no longer a struggle.
It is not easy setting the routine, but it WILL get easier as time goes on (usually about 2-3 weeks) ....as long as you are consistent.
Ask for help if necessary.
Monday, October 11, 2010
SAY WHAT YOU MEAN...AND MEAN WHAT YOU SAY
"One more minute," the child asks. "One more time," they beg, "before it's time to go, can I do it just one more time? Please?".
If your child is begging for one more turn or one more minute or one more anything, it's up to you to decide what you want to allow. But when you decide what that will be, you MUST stick with it. Otherwise, "No" doesn't mean no. Everything becomes negotiable, and we all know THAT isn't true.
Some things are just not negotiable. You would never let your child run out into the street into oncoming traffic. But what if "No" doesn't mean no to them? Do you think they would stop running toward the road if they had learned that "No" was always negotiable? Many things are not life or death situations, but the lesson must be learned regardless of how important the situation is. Let's teach them the right thing to do BEFORE it's a safety issue.
Say what you mean...and mean what you say.
If your child is begging for one more turn or one more minute or one more anything, it's up to you to decide what you want to allow. But when you decide what that will be, you MUST stick with it. Otherwise, "No" doesn't mean no. Everything becomes negotiable, and we all know THAT isn't true.
Some things are just not negotiable. You would never let your child run out into the street into oncoming traffic. But what if "No" doesn't mean no to them? Do you think they would stop running toward the road if they had learned that "No" was always negotiable? Many things are not life or death situations, but the lesson must be learned regardless of how important the situation is. Let's teach them the right thing to do BEFORE it's a safety issue.
Say what you mean...and mean what you say.
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